just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
