im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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