I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
