Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
