Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize