Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize