the new term for farting is butt boxing.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
