she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
