420 ftw
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
