Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize