OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
