I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
it was like eating out sand paper
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
where are my eyebrows?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
