Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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