How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
he puts the penis in happiness.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I wish life had little blips of pornography
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Randomize
