I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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