If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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