Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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