Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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