I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
