She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
He better not be in your backpack
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
