You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
