your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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