So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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