Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Randomize
