omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
