Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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