Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
false alarm. still invincible.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
