only if we run a train.
done.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
