so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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