How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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