I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
