fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
