I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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