how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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