Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize