But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Randomize
