i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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