Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Randomize
