should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
