oh god the rape fog is back!
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
