Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
