Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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