She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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