tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize