pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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