ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
