It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
it was like eating out sand paper
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
