That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
