spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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