It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
