i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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