You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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