Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
