I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize