so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
