there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Randomize
