I faked an abortion last night.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
