is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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