Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize
