Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
We just shotgunned beers for America
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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